“All forms of love, of suffering, of madness; he searches himself, he exhausts within himself all poisons and preserves their quintessence’s.” —Rimbaud
Nothing ever begins. There is no first moment; no single word or place from...– Clive Barker, An Existential Life:
1: the thing about white dudes is that there are too many of them
makes it hard to stand out.
2: [laughs] I guess. But I think there's a willful determination to sublimate into the normative gender/racial category.
1: why is there a determination to do so? to avoid alienation? to find a lover?
2: Both I think. It's the whole phenomenology thing. Sharing likeness with other white guys solidifies and confirms their identity. Paradoxically it's insecurity used as a means of security
1: hence the making fun of each other. but everyone does that. white people are just more marketed to. the biggest consumer base, most susceptible to advertising.
that's an oversimplification but certainly a cause
you empathize with others based off the images you have a common, yet constructed and abstract stake in. ie what a hipster is/does.
2: Right. I mean as far as humor goes the poking fun of their white maleness phenomenologically solidifies their identity: by poking fun of that which makes them see more stereotypically white and male they deconstruct the categories (sorta) but simultaneously activate them.
Like it on one hand challenges but only ultimately reaffirms. It also establishes a local parameter distinguishing whether or not you're "in" or "out"
1: it's a defense mechanism though.
2: Right: by establishing a local parameter that inherently alienates people who differ they create security
2: Out od the insecurity and fear they have of facing difference
1: all true. it's ironic too. self deprecation. it's a joke with no punchline. hero to zero.
2: Right. What's "funny" is that they've put you outside of the parameters through simply acknowledging their existence.
2: It's also just an example of privilege and power
1: sort of. on that last point maybe the SL does that and is conscious of it thru their awareness of their own white guilt. I mean it's like everybody wants to be great but we are conditioned to strive after certain ideals of greatness. artist, intellectual, etc.
1: thing is you don't have to compete with other white dudes.
2: You lost me in terms of sequence.
1: but that depends on what you want. if it's girls then maybe. if it's white girls then definitely.
nope the points were not connected.
2: Okay. Right (I think)
1: for me. it's funny because I can define myself doing things tied to the identities of white male stereotypes (like being a music guy) but it isn't so much a part of my identity as it is for T (I can presume).
2: Yeah they're reliant on "external goods" to develop identity rather than primarily experience/felt things
1: but it's hard to be soft bro.
1: it's hard to open up and be vulnerable. especially when you're told not to.
2: Yeah but I have little tolerance for people who don't see the benefits/necessity of being open and developing openness
1: yes. agreed. though it takes time and can be expressed through different means, like discussion or physical intimacy.
I do need to go and finish this paper. Maybe we continue this later tonight?
1: definitely. just lemme know.
2: Will do.
I am very much looking forward to the time when I can write unfettered and can treat my body well.
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From the Last Canto of Paradise (Paradiso XXXIII:46-48, 52-66) As I drew nearer to the end of all desire, I brought my longing’s ardor to a final height, Just as I ought. My vision, becoming pure, Entered more and more the beam of that high light That shines on its own truth. From then, my seeing Became too large for speech, which fails a sight Beyond all boundaries, at...